Listen; I have time As long as you keep your hands in line The toughest things I had to learn Were buried down at dead man's curve Lying underneath the bridge While thundering cars roared down I-10 We laughed at Gods and wondered why We had to grow old and had to die Patience; a little more time A few more seasons to leave behind Wake up; you have to know The pain stopped clinging inside my soul Summer, I can't write for long My hands get so shakey when I know that I'm wrong The pothole on main street where we were just kids Has turned to a lake with a seven-year-itch You'll come back (I know I sent you far) You'll come back (into my shakey arms) You've been cold (I know it's all my fault, this heart) You've been cold (I swear I'll keep you warm)

We laid under the sun on decaying leaves You spoke about the seasons like the chambers in your heart We didn't fall in love, but we wanted to We gleaned on all the fields while the flowers bloomed and starved I played a little tune on the bit of string That splintered from the roots where we dug out our new home You said it wasn't quite what you thought it'd be It felt a little tired, like an old and dusty tome Sadie climbed high up that broken tree My face turned white; I never felt so scared in me Part of her is trapped, part's completely free Part of her is you, but you said she's mostly me Losing every word that I thought I knew Forgetting seven years that I've burdened you doesn't sit Well beyond the shores finding other truth I need a better wind, need another crew with some wit

Lonely, its lonely after You've seen that I am after One thing that kept me close to you Lingering, but kept in her Is something more, but she stays the words "I love-I love you" Bare-backed and steady on the rise Pour out my insides and I am Hungrier than I've ever been before Can't say I seem too down about your Black-faced lies, because I been saying my Own since I left home and started to grow some more At first I thought a year or two Then I could finally pay for you To a place without mouths that talk about how I have seen things I've never seen I can't say what they were or what they mean Not that I don't know, but because I love you so It's much harder than what it seemed Weaning off the crooked oars and sea To this chained down dirt that never rocks or creaks It's strange now to know how a few years ago I still had doubts but never had them this strong That forced me to think the things that I can't speak There's a crazy, a fool, rescue attempt Shoving out next week when the Moon's lit Likely this is it, my last words for you Curse Holly Beach, and curse Bourbon Street I don't ask for much, just a name and to eat And for someone to nod whenever I talk

I came from earth, and you came from sea With a friend from wind, we could breathe life into me I mixed up my words inside a hat It keeps me up late some nights, but I never take it back It's hard to remember where we are in all of this When I can't quite see the bow and aft We injure and lame each other silly And patch up and heal and hug and laugh I smiled at the sound; a chorus of frogs Without anyone to say they were dying when they called We yell all the time at skin and at sores I loved you the same until I didn't anymore It's hard to remember where we are in all of this When I can't quite see the bow and aft We injure and lame each other silly And patch up and heal and hug and laugh

A sticky fog and wet air You got fed up and let down your hair And the man we passed who gave us a wink I kicked a pebble and watched it roll You asked me why I never talk About the things I think I said, "Today's just not right There's something dirty in my sight And aching in my heart" These people all look like climbing vines And pour their words like the finest wines But I haven't the voice they want Anna, I don't mean to make you worry But this whole body, I don't understand Do you ever take the time to study What I am really? What I am. The second week that your folks were gone We walked the docks with no shoes on And I tried to grope the beard I'd shaved I said the waves looked like Tarpans You grabbed my hands and eyes sharpened You said the way I cope is very brave I'm cold with everyone I meet They're stocked with dry wood and kerosene But I haven't the sense to spark Alas, I'm still pretty upset That we couldn't watch the sunset I know it's petty, but there it is Anna, I don't mean to make you worry But this whole body, I don't understand Do you ever take the time to study What I am really? What I am.

Lately I've felt Sadie pulling further out from us It happened slow. I did not know a man could hurt this much But something in my bones is hoping eventually the change Will shake his head and go back the way he came I know I should be something else, but I can't quite fit it yet My tired lungs are finally getting rest When you walk into the room, I feel a bit distraught I wonder if I did something wrong, or if it's just another thought Because I've been filling your head up with stone-weighted burdened sin And forced your lungs to keep on pulling in I know we should be someplace else, but I can't forget the scent A drying lake, a dying forest bed Unless you have a stellar plan, I'm afraid there's no more hope So I brought you here to Carmouth Field to help to keep you calm That foggy dream that's been getting me; I finally cured myself But not for me, for everyone else And now we fight most every night and lay down our sick heads And wake up new without a clue. We smile and break bread I know we change; I know we grow, but something don't make sense How could the only love I ever knew end?

Today's the day you go take a journey and a note Looking out for what I know is not there If you could see your eyes, you would never wonder why I stayed my hand and watched you stare A gate under a tomb, with a sword stuck in it's womb Then a two day trek across the sand If memory serves me right, there were seven days and nights Coming back here when we found this land If you lose the stars like all the freckles on your arms Look for north on top the mildewed stones Listen for the tide clearing tears out of his eyes And he'll help you find a path back home I promised not to keep you here, but change is just the same as fear When I can't keep the only girl I know A savage beast that lives in me says I don't have to let you leave But isn't that the same as letting go? Partially I'm not to blame, but partially I am to blame For storing up these treasures in my heart And holding deep a hope that we could finally get some peace and sleep And never have to worry where we are The spotted vines and glowing eyes that caught me up so late last night I think I know why they were watching me Your natural smile, your lazy eye, your constant need to fix my mind You are the truth that I can't see

Two hands reaching out, grasping onto mine It's when I knew These three screens would mean a thing Would tunnel right through me, through you And I long to be the one who says go To everyone and all their dreams So I find a place for growing pains and upsets that Couldn't all be named It called to me as if it was significant Crossing out my 14 years of innocence, just for a bit of time I understand the searching out The worldly habits now A coarse, brown plant That's listening and tickling our mouths And I know you said that finding me And everything was fate But I don't believe that this was planned I just think that it was strange And the smallest scratch underneath my nail will make it fall And I want to know: Did I do this right or not at all?

I guess you'd want to see what I've become But we can't afford to lose the year we've done The less you know, the better off we'll be My tongue sure lied but had nothing to do with me I fight an ordeal inside my mind And wonder how we got so far entwined Catching onto thoughts I held between My crooked eye and the whistling, bending reeds I know, I know I left it wrong and yelled at you I grow, I grow; the weight, it bends my only shoes I hold a thought above my broken sign A hope to find the love I lost this time Placing all the blame it helped me cope With changing times and my unholy soul Today I find it doesn't help no more I'm realizing why I chose this door Another year will pass and we won't speak And I think you know you've been a muse to me With all the lies I've blended with the truth It's hard to say which ones I told to you I knew, I knew the path was wrong, but followed you The truth, the truth was just too loud to listen to Now these tired arms are letting go And I'm learning to accept our growing old

Now you are what you never wanted to become A part of the world you hated from the start And still you said that you felt cold and spun the yarn until The Evergreens shed off their old brown coats in the early spring The flaking bark had hit you in the arm, you think But can't see where it fell The last I heard, you found your way back up the trail but passed the turn We made while I was gathering the sap and ferns We thought we knew but couldn't find the words I lost my weight, but you can't stand to look at me or pray the same The garden that we started never gave a thing But then, I never watered it at all Leaving me is something; I don't know the word It's easily the worst thing I have ever heard I cursed the trees for all looking the same All last week I paced and hoped to God that you were following The muddy prints and sticks I broke that grabbed my sleeves Because you'd recall that awful day they fell This is something you've got to see; it broke the waves It held my hand, carried my dead weight Made you smile and kissed our feet Let me down into the deep It lit my path and showed me the grave I never asked, but were you afraid?

i'm pondering these words for you you can't quite say "i love you too" but i am sure you mean it when you sign back that you're finished with the milk that you are holding between two small hands and throwing to the ground the halls are now your pasture you're the wild prince of laughter running circles around me that must be how i used to be now i'm picking up on little things that take away small parts of me each week every day you tread down your own path through the grasses that we plant down fields, the horizon is set on fire and you're holding my hand yeah, you love testing gravity and holding everything you see throwing pawpaws keys away when elisi's eyes are turned away from you inside your stash you have a rubber band and blue pen cap and several different books to read in case there's an emergency you're calling out my little tricks and matching up your synapsis so quick every day you tread down your own path through the grasses that we plant down fields, the horizon is set on fire and you're two feet away you have so much to learn like bills and stress and getting burned making big decisions then turning to regret them your heart shattering to pieces with each failed attempt at life you thought might turn out alright if you just fix it by tonight you'll get tired of the fight and lose your better sight you've got to look up find your own place out there squeeze yourself through the gates of their starving snares fight through the hatred gather the evidence proving that they took away all your innocence i never got to i never worked it out inside my head i forgot how to get it out through my mouth every day you tread down your own path through the grasses that we plant down fields, the horizon is set on fire and you're miles away

on a mile-long trail we hacked with blunted down blades we tracked a beast that wasn't there to give us a name the darkness came so quick and laid a field in fog could barely see the way back and almost got more lost you fought a losing bout with gashes in your head when you realized you'd lost, you blamed the stick instead and i couldn't place that name you whispered as you wept but still i nodded, hoping you would just forget we walked like giants crushing shrubs like they were trees our hands weaved up like baskets, sweating up our sleeves the closest i have felt to anyone since then was nothing near; i still don't understand it there was something underneath that bridge we made of logs i don't know what, but in my dreams it throws me off i don't act up the same, but god it felt so wrong i never told no one but you and me alone the precious time would pass; i'd talk into the sand and make the shapes i saw on some old parchment you made the sounds that they belonged to and you helped me out; said, "curl your tongue like i do"